Ever had a friendship that left its scar on your heart?
A few years back I had that happen. I had a friend I swore would be a part of my life until the day I left this world. I would have done anything for this person and I loved her with my whole heart. And it took me quite a few years to get to the place I am at now.
When I look back I sadly see how one sided this friendship truly was. I would always go to her house and honestly in the many years we had been friends I can count she maybe came to mine twice if not three times.
I would watch her make cakes for other people’s birthdays and yet I never got one. Wasn’t I her best friend?
I would witness her making extra effort to be seen and included and yet what she didn’t understand is that… I saw her. I included her. Wasn’t my friendship enough to sow into?
It finally came to a halt after my son had an accident while we were on holidays. It was one of the most traumatic experiences I had ever been through and yet… not one call from her to say she was praying or thinking of us.
That moment was the moment I knew that sometimes a new season is coming and choices need to be made. That sometimes loyalty to someone can go too far and often times it can be one sided. But I also learned something amazing. I learned boundaries.
The other day I saw this friend from my past. We were at the same place and I spotted her in the crowd. I realised in that moment much healing had taken place and I honestly wished her well in her life and hoped she was doing well. It looked from a distance she had everything she could ever want and I felt happy for her. And as I looked around at the group of friends I had attended with, I felt beyond blessed myself.
I was surrounded with people who loved me, took the time to come see me, they saw me and who God made me to be and I felt truly thankful and gracious. I thought of all the people that God had surrounded me with that weren’t there at this event and how I was more than lucky with how my life has grown and evolved.
You see sometimes God closes doors so you need to find the right door with the right blessings waiting for you on the other side. I look back now and see that many lessons were learned and my love for that friend was real and genuine. But now was also just a part in a season of learning. And after the learning of that time, I’m now in a new season filled with new blessings.
So are the scars still on my heart? Yes, they are. And they always will be a reminder that I thought I would always be broken but God knitted it back together. The scar is the reminder that I loved and I didn’t remain broken. And this heart has so much more love to give and the ability to heal, to keep beating, to continue to take on anything and it’s safe guarded by my Heavenly Father.
Love Sarah, xx
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” Psalm 46:1-2
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