I have struggled with my weight and appearance for a big chunk of my life and it’s not something I talk about a lot, but it’s a topic that has had a major impact on me. It’s taken me years to come to a place where the opinions of others do not define my worth in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.
I remember the pain of being called fat over and over. I felt the sting of rejection when one of my now family members said to my now husband when we first started seeing each other, “Please tell me you’re not dating her?”
I remember going to work and one of my work mates said, “If I was as fat as you I’d kill myself.” When such hurt is hurled towards you and you feel as if your not living up to the worlds view of how you should look, the rejection wears you down.
There were times when I would look at my husband and think, why did he marry me? I’m fat and ugly he could do so much better. And thinking that kept my confidence low and at times at arms length from my partner in life.
And let me tell you, it took some major embracing of Gods truths to break through the words that had shaped how I saw myself. The things I thought about myself and the words I had repeated at my reflection for over 25 years or more was not an easy habit to break. I was tired of dieting thinking if I was thinner I would be happy. If I got my nails done I would feel prettier.
I was tired of longing to be someone else, I just didn’t know how to change the way I thought about myself. But I knew I need to find thankfulness for the gift of life God had granted me. The very idea that I only had one life to live on this earth and no do overs had me realising I needed to start looking at who I was created to be and learn to love it.
I remember flipping through genesis one day and reading how beautiful Sarah was and it hit me. How was she beautiful… Was she thin? Did she have long hair? Short hair? Was her skin flawless?
You see God didn’t need to describe the appearance of His subjects. He didn’t need to write down the finer details of what beauty should look like. The world made up those rules and flashed it in our faces to mimic.
But to know that God designed us to be beautiful in our own unique ways regardless of shape or height or size is something to get excited about.
I might not be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Because regardless of what anyone thinks… I’m beautiful!
I’m beautiful because God created me. He gave me a heart to love, a mouth to encourage, arms that give good bear hugs, eyes that crinkle when I smile, ears to hear and listen and vocal chords to worship Him daily.
And it’s beautiful!!!!
I don’t know your hurt or what is hurting you. And your story may not sound anything like my story. Healing for me on this topic took years and Gods truth read over and over. But whatever you’re feeling, know that you are worth it. You were worth dying for. Jesus paid the price because He loves you so much.
So as you go about your day, focus on His opinions and not the opinions of others. Their opinions really don’t matter. Because whether you believe it or not, you are a beautiful work of God! Created to be like no one else!
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And thatmy soul knows very well. Psalm 139:14