Forgiveness can be a hard thing to give when those closest to you have broken your heart, spoken false accusations, abused your trust in them, and often left scars internally.
Trust me, I have been there more times than would like to count. Over and over I have been hurt, rejected, discarded when something better has come along, or I am no longer needed.
One thing that always seems to be a returning factor for me, is when you can do a thousand things right by someone and the one time you don't, is the one time they remember your actions. It hurts, it digs deep into your soul and takes up a permanent residency.
I have one major flaw when it comes to forgiveness...I think I have forgiven them, but when I run into them all those old feelings rise to the surface and once again I am back to what had happened, and the hurt I felt. Burying the offence just does not work. No, we need to confront why we feel that way, acknowledge why we feel that way and then figure out how we can move into a place where true forgiveness can happen, so that we can be healed. But first know this, you are allowed to feel hurt. And forgiveness does not mean that you must allow them back in to do the same thing over again. You can forgive and close the door on that part of your life. So let's look at three ways that I have learned to walk the path of Forgiveness.
Step One - Speak it out loud to the Lord.I really think we need to acknowledge it out loud, even to ourselves. God is such a great listener and understands our hurt better than anyone. And like the good friend He is, there is always something so soothing in knowing that He is listening. A big part of speaking it out is somehow, it makes you acknowledge that there is a problem that needs to be fixed, and often times unspoken words just bury the pain deep down inside where it can fester.
Step Two - Pray. Purposely pray and ask the Lord to help you with forgiving, to show you the steps you need to take in order to make that happen. Most often God leads me to particular scriptures and bible verses, where I write them down and speak them over and over to myself until they settle in my heart. Many times I have also asked that He separate the memory from the emotion, to heal my broken heart. I have also learned that a one off prayer does not work for me. I find myself kneeling daily until I feel the repair inside happening.
Step Three - Write it down. I know, but I'm a big believer in that! Write down what hurt you, write scriptures that help remind you why you need to forgive, I like to focus on the forgiveness Jesus gave us all, as He went to the cross for us. Keep this note close to you, or in a box and one day you may look back on it and see how God truly helped you to forgive.
I know it's not easy, and sometimes un-forgiveness seems justified in our minds. But it's our hearts that need healing, to be free of pain. It's not an overnight fix by far, but it is possible with time, and trust in what God can do to repair.
Mark 11:25 – And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”